Prov Blog | A is for Alex
When a police officer knocked on Lesley Roberts' door on 25 November 2017, her life changed forever. She learned that her eldest son Alex had died by suicide - and she would soon receive an email explaining why. Since then, Lesley has spent years learning to live alongside her grief, writing her memoir and trying to help others find light in the dark.
Lesley, a Prov regular, has been sharing her experience and Alex’s story ever since, serving as a guide and support to other parents and other men in similar situations as Alex.
Today marks Alex’s 30th Birthday, and we are honoured to be able to support Lesley and share her journey with you, our community; a community that has become a regular part of Lesley’s daily routine thanks to the kindness and warmth that between us all, we share at Providero Coffeehouse.
“My daily, solo coastal walks are my time to immerse myself in the beauty of nature whilst chatting to Alex in my head. This is followed by a visit to the warm and welcome friendliness of the young group of people who make up Prov Llandudno. They remind me so much of Alex and I have learnt in my darkest days that kindness is the only comfort that helps.”
“My beloved son, Alex died by suicide 6 years, 7 months and 20 days ago. Today (July 14th) is his 30th birthday.
I wrote a book ‘A is for Alex’ in which I described the unimaginable shock and trauma of his sudden death and here I seek to continue the promise I made to him after his death: that I will forever love him and tell his story in the hope of helping others, for as my wise son wrote:”
‘We stand on the shoulders of those who came before us’.
Lesley’s' book draws attention to the not-so-common reason that led her son to end his own life, as well as the ever-increasing number of suicides happening in the UK and North America.
The truth is, any parent could be in Lesley's situation, and any man could be in Alex's - and for this reason, this book is an important read.
“I have survived and this is a surprise to me. My path is forever changed and I have come to know that my grief is the love for Alex that I will always carry with me.
I have learnt that grief is not linear. Time becomes different; every minute you live in the past but also the present. You walk in a new world, one in which your child is absent, and one where he is close by.
‘Accept me in my ups and downs, I need someone to share
Just hold my hand and let me cry, and say
“My friend, I care”’
Since the release of Lesley’s book, she has continued to create conversation and provide education as well as guidance for those living with grief or those close to those who do.
‘If you can’t understand why someone is grieving so much for so long then consider yourself fortunate that you do not understand.’ - Joanna Cacciatore
My bond with Alex is unbreakable, he is my beacon of light and his love has given me strength. His handsome smile, compassion, witty humour and so much more are missed every day and I have painfully discovered whilst navigating my way through my heartbreak, that I am grateful for the 23 years, 4 months and 10 days of my darling Alex’s life.
It is not happiness that brings gratitude but gratitude that brings happiness and I will continue to work on this for the rest of my life.
We can’t thank Lesley enough for trusting us to be a part of her journey and for working with us to share her words. If you would like to follow Lesley’s journey and continue this conversation, you can find Lesley on Facebook (lesleyrobertsauthor).
Lesley’s book, ‘A for Alex’ can be purchased on Amazon and is also available to order from Waterstones.
If you’re in the midst of a journey with grief or bereavement then you certainly don’t have to go on that journey alone. Our doors are open every day (other than Christmas) and above all else, Providero is a place for community.
On the third Thursday of every month Tom Owens & Son host The Coffee Connection Bereavement Group at our Llandudno Coffeehouse from 10am-12pm. It’s free of charge to attend, anyone who has experienced bereavement can attend. Maybe you are looking for a chance to meet new friends, speak to others about their grief or just get out of the house. Drinks are complimentary.
This month’s The Coffee Connection Bereavement Group will meet at 10am on Thursday the 18th of July. For future Bereavement Group dates, head to our calendar.